I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
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dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
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If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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