I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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