I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
