I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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