dude i'm inner monologue high
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
