is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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