I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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