wanna go halves on a baby?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
