Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!