we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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