So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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