i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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