is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
