On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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