Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
