Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs

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  (610): if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs http://tfl.nu/tehh
  Replies (12) Good night (2899) Bad night (1033)
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  (+44): View more from England

  why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??

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  (+44): why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star?? http://tfl.nu/ikzh
  Replies (13) Good night (1078) Bad night (3208)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?

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  (630): Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league? http://tfl.nu/urmj
  Replies (15) Good night (2874) Bad night (1108)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water

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  (508): you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water http://tfl.nu/opqy
  Replies (15) Good night (7647) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.

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  (410): After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out. http://tfl.nu/7wcs
  Replies (16) Good night (932) Bad night (3181)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!

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  (919): just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great! http://tfl.nu/724w
  Replies (35) Good night (7173) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok

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  (443): I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok http://tfl.nu/hllh
  Replies (7) Good night (3315) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  she fell through a window trying to flash someone

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  (708): she fell through a window trying to flash someone http://tfl.nu/c9dp
  Replies (12) Good night (4521) Bad night (1668)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Sex on roller skates

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Floating mattress

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tie

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  (301): Sex on roller skates (202): Floating mattress (301): Tie http://tfl.nu/1xsm
  Replies (7) Good night (1894) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.

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  (774): I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands. http://tfl.nu/r3el
  Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  It's after 5, it's not day drinking.

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  (859): Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester? (1-859): It's after 5, it's not day drinking. http://tfl.nu/fzca
  Replies (12) Good night (1530) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed

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  (215): If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed http://tfl.nu/cmm2
  Replies (16) Good night (877) Bad night (1545)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body

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  (703): I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body http://tfl.nu/blet
  Replies (16) Good night (1095) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.

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  (415): Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/dkfp
  Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.

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  (317): You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear. http://tfl.nu/e71o
  Replies (1) Good night (730) Bad night (283)

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