I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?