oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo