Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd

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(757): Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd http://tfl.nu/vlap

Replies (6) Good night (824) Bad night (586)
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(713): View more from Texas

if only i could text you this smell

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(713): if only i could text you this smell http://tfl.nu/til8

Replies (22) Good night (1196) Bad night (4323)
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(616): View more from Michigan

The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks

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(616): The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks http://tfl.nu/03z3

Replies (28) Good night (3451) Bad night (540)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.

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(413): You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/uoqp

Replies (49) Good night (1372) Bad night (4978)
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(518): View more from New York

You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops

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(518): You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops http://tfl.nu/ldeo

Replies (19) Good night (12752) Bad night (937)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

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(401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l

Replies (11) Good night (906) Bad night (2332)
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(519): View more from Ontario

you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.

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(519): you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner. http://tfl.nu/pwti

Replies (7) Good night (3479) Bad night (699)
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(734): View more from Michigan

How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?

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(734): How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together? http://tfl.nu/es97

Replies (64) Good night (1437) Bad night (4594)
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(636): View more from Missouri

there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter

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(636): there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter http://tfl.nu/6rqt

Replies (3) Good night (2379) Bad night (929)
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(206): View more from Washington

Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.

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(206): Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up. http://tfl.nu/qld8

Replies (3) Good night (1621) Bad night (914)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets

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(505): I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets http://tfl.nu/m4mv

Replies (7) Good night (2161) Bad night (841)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.

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(504): Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted. http://tfl.nu/mn0k

Replies (14) Good night (2070) Bad night (658)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing

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(856): I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing http://tfl.nu/iy02

Replies (10) Good night (1151) Bad night (911)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.

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(309): I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison. http://tfl.nu/fqll

Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (277)
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(289): View more from Ontario

God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.

(519): View more from Ontario

Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.

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(289): God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore. (519): Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor. http://tfl.nu/xdad

Replies (8) Good night (1192) Bad night (343)

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