it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
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I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
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I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.