Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
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And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.