My brain says no but my pants say off.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
