If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
