youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
