I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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