Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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