Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
