Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
