At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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