I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think weed is turning my hair brown
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
