Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
