Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
