i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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