he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
