First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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