Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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