First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
