There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
