don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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