Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
