This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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