I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
