i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
