my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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