Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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