is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize