i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
