And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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