the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
