Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Randomize