What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
