Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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