Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
