totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have fence marks all over my body
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
