well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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