Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
