she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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