I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
