with your own penis?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
