i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
