Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
