I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
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when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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