After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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