i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
