Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
