I am puke
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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