so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
