If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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