Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
