i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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