Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
